Why?

Jasper has been asking his mom about the baby...
and on Monday he actually asked me...

We have been waiting to talk to him about it until he brought it up again...He hasn't asked about the baby really since we told him he was going to get a brother or sister. And he definitely hadn't brought it up since we had found out the baby had died; so we were just waiting...

Its interesting how God gives us the strength....at the time he asked I had come off a weekend of really feeling the loss and grieving so when Jasper asked me about the baby, I had to hold it together. We were in the middle of the hallway at school, he was in line for a bathroom break and saw me. So as he normally does, he waves me over for a hug. But that day he wanted me to show him a picture of the baby growing...I just smiled and told him I loved him but I had to go to class...and hurried on...once I was away I had a little cry session but quickly pulled myself together for my next class. 

So PJ and I knew we needed to talk with him about it...I wasn't sure how we would bring it up or what we would say...But God had a plan and as He gave us the words. We were out at PJ's parents farm for dinner last night and while we were waiting to eat, Jasper came over and was giving me hugs and kisses. That's when he noticed my necklace...and asked what it was for...I grabbed PJ and the three of us went out to the front porch and sat on the swing. PJ read the inscription and showed Jasper the little feet and I explained that our baby went to heaven. And then came the "Why MyJ?". We explained that sometimes babies go back to be with God in heaven...and then came again "Why MyJ?" You know its crazy but on the day we found out, that word was the one I asked..."Why...I don't understand..." We explained to Jasper that sometimes we don't know why but God is in control. He asked if we would get to have another baby...he wants a sister, he explained. We told him that we were praying God would bless us with a baby and that he should pray and talk with God about having a little sister. And just like that he was off to the next thing...PJ and I know he will probably ask again later down the road when he doesn't remember that conversation and we will again gently explain.

You know so often in life there are things that happen that we ask "why" as adults. Some times the answer is given either immediately or later down the road but a lot of times we don't get to know why or really understand. But in those instances we just need to pray and ask God to give us the "peace that passes all understanding" (See Philippians 4:6-7). So often I have heard someone say, I will ask God when I get to heaven...and sometimes I have even said it...I don't know that there will be a Q&A in Heaven where we get to ask God questions - to find out answers as to why this or that happened...because honestly, I believe that as believers we will be so joyful to finally be with Him that we will only want to sing songs and worship Him. Because these things that happen on earth that currently feel devastating or confusing, will no longer hurt or even matter. In heaven we will have new bodies, there will be no weeping or pain. Sorrow will no longer be apart of us - only God's love.

I encourage you instead of focusing on the "whys" of a situation, FOCUS on God's love, grace, mercy and ask Him for His Peace. HE IS FAITHFUL!

Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for HE who promised is faithful."